One of Those Nights
My heart feels like it is breaking in to a million pieces all over again. It feels like every trauma I have felt is coming down on me all at once. My body feels like it is missing so many pieces that it has lost through out the years. Everything from the first time I lost a family member, to my divorce. My body aches with grief. All of the past, even though it feels like they are all happening right now. My eyes are overflowing with tears. I have no reason to be sad. Maybe its my minds way of reminding me that I am human and I’m allowed to feel pain. I am allowed and need to feel something negative sometimes. It comes in waves. No amount of meds are helping me. I just hate this feeling of being lost and hopeless. That’s probably why it gets pressed down for such a long time and then WHAM! Here it is! Not like its something you just want to feel. I mean how many people can really say they “want to grieve”? No matter how much time goes past, somethings never really stop hurting