Growning Apart
I'm sure a lot of you have some app on your phone, like Timehop or something. Even if you don't you can see your memories on Facebook or sometimes through Google. It is really crazy how just a year ago, maybe two years, you can have so many friends that you never thought you would loose. Then today you look back and there is no relationship.
I have been married and divorced. Looking back at my wedding photos I do not speak to anyone that was in my wedding party, besides my 15 year old sister. I had a two Maid's of Honor, and 3 other brides mades. I had two flower girls. Out of all of those people my little sister is the only one that will even speak to me.
My ex-husband hates me. I'm sure his family hates me even more. I'm guessing this because we live in a small town of about 4,500 people, and we see each other. The looks his family and the "friends" I had give me the dirtiest looks. All because I stood my ground. All because I would not have a child that I did not want. So they look at me like I'm the devil herself.
My best friend for about 23 years, now won't even talk to me. She wanted me to always contact her. She always picked my ex over me. When I asked her about it, she said that it would have been award. Well I'm sorry I thought that both my ex and I were adults and could be around each other without acting like two year olds. Then she pulls out the bullshit line about everyone else being uncomfortable. Really?
I have always tired to be there for my friends ( or at least the people thought were my friends), When it came to them even helping me, there was no one there. Now that I have gotten a divorce and with a wonderful man that is my best friend. I can talk about anything with his, even things about what I miss about my relationship with my ex-husband.
I have found friends in people I didn't expect to. There isn't very many of them but they are there for me for anything. Just like I am with them. I am thankful for the few people that I do call friends. They ask questions if they are confused about my mental illness. They help me get back up when I am weak. They listen to me bitch when I am mad.
We go through different times in our lives. We grow closer to some people and grow apart from others. We can't change that most of the time. It is just the way things work. We probably won't like it. At least I know I didn't. Some you don't even see it coming. It always hurts in someway when they go out of our lives.
I do not feel angry or mad towards them, but at the same time I'm not going to make the mistake of letting them back in to my life. I hope they and their families are happy and well. I wish the same for my ex-husband and his family, even though some of them may not deserve it. I have let go of the anger and shame that comes with being left alone and had no support when I made it official that my ex and I split up.
It is a part of life and I am happy where I am. I am thankful for what I have been through. I would not be the person I am today if not for all of the past. I want to say thank you to my friends, you know who you are. Thank you to my boyfriend, who is amazing.
Just remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can not see it.
Nicole
I have been married and divorced. Looking back at my wedding photos I do not speak to anyone that was in my wedding party, besides my 15 year old sister. I had a two Maid's of Honor, and 3 other brides mades. I had two flower girls. Out of all of those people my little sister is the only one that will even speak to me.
My ex-husband hates me. I'm sure his family hates me even more. I'm guessing this because we live in a small town of about 4,500 people, and we see each other. The looks his family and the "friends" I had give me the dirtiest looks. All because I stood my ground. All because I would not have a child that I did not want. So they look at me like I'm the devil herself.
My best friend for about 23 years, now won't even talk to me. She wanted me to always contact her. She always picked my ex over me. When I asked her about it, she said that it would have been award. Well I'm sorry I thought that both my ex and I were adults and could be around each other without acting like two year olds. Then she pulls out the bullshit line about everyone else being uncomfortable. Really?
I have always tired to be there for my friends ( or at least the people thought were my friends), When it came to them even helping me, there was no one there. Now that I have gotten a divorce and with a wonderful man that is my best friend. I can talk about anything with his, even things about what I miss about my relationship with my ex-husband.
I have found friends in people I didn't expect to. There isn't very many of them but they are there for me for anything. Just like I am with them. I am thankful for the few people that I do call friends. They ask questions if they are confused about my mental illness. They help me get back up when I am weak. They listen to me bitch when I am mad.
We go through different times in our lives. We grow closer to some people and grow apart from others. We can't change that most of the time. It is just the way things work. We probably won't like it. At least I know I didn't. Some you don't even see it coming. It always hurts in someway when they go out of our lives.
I do not feel angry or mad towards them, but at the same time I'm not going to make the mistake of letting them back in to my life. I hope they and their families are happy and well. I wish the same for my ex-husband and his family, even though some of them may not deserve it. I have let go of the anger and shame that comes with being left alone and had no support when I made it official that my ex and I split up.
It is a part of life and I am happy where I am. I am thankful for what I have been through. I would not be the person I am today if not for all of the past. I want to say thank you to my friends, you know who you are. Thank you to my boyfriend, who is amazing.
Just remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can not see it.
Nicole
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